well

an entry from my journal written at the captivating retreat in september 2006:

... can i live deeply from my heart for You, so that i may champion, call out, encourage, allure, arouse, defend, LOVE fully? all good things come from You... i've been so afraid to ask You, Lord, but i'm asking now, with much fear and trembling. help me to love well - to love You first, and from the overflow of that, love my friends, my family, my community... dare i ask You for more than You've already given me... i ask You, with a heart that strives to be open to Your answer. Lord, i await You...

and an entry from the march 2007 retreat:

... just one simple question, Lord. will You teach me to love well?...

help me to love well.

i had forgotten that i asked Him that. those exact words have come up several times over the past few months, as He peels back the layers of resolve and woundedness and re-shapes my heart... but i didn't connect the dots until i re-read my journals from the retreats the other night.

i had forgotten - but He hadn't.