6.26.2012

breathing

i have a confession to make.

i suffer from an anxiety disorder (as if that was not screamingly obvious from my last post), as do all the women in my family. it's been interesting to watch the disorder change over time in each of us, as our circumstances change and life rolls on. my mom "accepts" her lot as her fault and suffers accordingly, my sister overmedicates, my niece self-medicates and self-destructs, and i... well i've been better, and i've been worse. which begs the question - where is this lasting, inside out change that christianity promises?

yes, yes. the pious call it sanctification over time. the atheists call it brainwashing. medical professionals and mental health professionals, in rare agreement, call it maturity over time culminating in wisdom - sagacity. i'm not sure what i call it, other than painful and disruptive, at present.

i do find that it's changed over the past year. it's become more pervasive - more intrusive. it interrupts my sleep - when i can actually sleep. it crowds out thoughts and comes unbidden into just about any situation. and it feels different too. it used to be a general unease and an inability to turn off my brain at night. it's now much more debilitating and affects me physically... which is why running is such a joy and a triumph for me - running is 90% mental and i rejoice in developing that discipline.

but the bitch of suffering from such a hidden dysfunction (chemical imbalance is rather difficult to detect in your average bear, at least at first glance) is that i am just about universally perceived as confident, capable, intelligent, trustworthy. a person of integrity and character. and in that perception, even if it echoes with truth, people fail to realize just how alone, afraid, and increasingly fragile that persona has become. that is quite a solitary place to exist.

the anxiety manifests differently these days, as well. i first became aware of the disorder during my separation and subsequent divorce over 10 years ago. i've managed it with medication, education, and faith. so why are the thoughts more pervasive, more disruptive, more frequent, more potentially damaging? i'm still medicated. i'm still educated - can't really go backwards on that one, right? so that leaves faith.

i have another confession to make.

my faith in God-the-Father, Jesus-the-Savior, and the Holy Spirit-counsellor has dwindled into something unrecognizable as faith. i've can't even muster up anger about His perceived indifference to my plight. i'm tired of fighting, tired of trying to understand Him, tired of trying to fix whatever it is that i fucked up so badly that grace can't or won't cover it. i'm tired of semi-jokingly referring to myself as jacob, wrestling with the angel in an exercise in futility. i'm just tired.

i have another confession to make.

after 10+ years of regular attendance in church, bible studies, and community groups, i have not stepped foot inside the door of a church in almost 9 months. NINE. wow - i just had to count that out on my fingers to make sure i had that right. that's crazy. i used to spend between 4 and 6 hours every sunday afternoon/night FOR OVER TEN YEARS investing in people and a vision that i truly, deeply believed in. those same people didn't even realize i was gone when i moved, and they surely haven't sounded the trumpets upon my return to BR. don't hear me casting stones here - i've made almost zero effort into reintegrating into that community.

does the lack of one lend to the progression of the other? likely. i had a brief conversation via text tonight with one of the very few people with whom i've stayed in contact with since october. she was wondering if and when i'll be returning to our church, and my most honest answer was not anytime soon. i read resignation and obligation in her words, but i know a bit about her heart, and it's more than that for her. she fiercely believes all that our church lacks will come with the fullness of time. i wish i shared her conviction. i really do.

i have a confession to make.

i want to be known, loved, and valued... i suspect we all do. and i want to offer the same, unconditionally. but i don't know how anymore, if i ever knew in the first place. i want to sleep. i want to succeed in life. i want to be able to support myself. i want my life to be significant. i want to offer light and hope, authenticity and transparency. i want religion stripped away and simple faith to prevail. i want to NOT wake up 15 times a night, on the verge of panic about some small but important thing that needs attending. i want to stop hearing taunts of failure and mediocrity.

there was a time in the life of this blog where i stated vociferously that i wanted to live fully alive in Christ. i don't even know what that means anymore. i'm reading a book about the life of paul, and in the narrative, there is a moment when young saul travels to jerusalem for his sister's wedding. he finds himself on the first night in that holy place unable to sleep, troubled deeply in his soul. he decided, during a crisis of faith, to love God whether He loved him back or not. i am not so devoted. but i believe he wanted the same thing that haunts me tonight - i want to be able to sing these words:

standing on this mountaintop 
looking just how far we've come 
knowing that for every step 
You were with us 

kneeling on this battle ground 
seeing just how much You've done 
knowing every victory 
is Your power in us 

scars and struggles on the way 
but with joy our hearts can say 
yes, our hearts can say 

never once did we ever walk alone 
never once did You leave us on our own 
You are faithful, God, You are faithful 

never once did we ever walk alone 
never once did You leave us on our own 
You are faithful, God, You are faithful 
You are faithful, God, You are faithful


scars and struggles on the way 
but with joy our hearts can say 
never once did we ever walk alone 
carried by Your constant grace 
held within Your perfect peace 
never once, no, we never walk alone 

never once did we ever walk alone 
never once did You leave us on our own 
You are faithful, God, You are faithful 

every step we are breathing in Your grace
evermore we'll be breathing out Your praise

You are faithful, God, You are faithful 
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

-- never once, matt redman

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