We lay our crowns…
The Lord really spoke to me this weekend. He spoke words of love, forgiveness, patience and discipline. He spoke of dying to self and truly living for Him. He spoke to me of healing, of truly desiring to live my life for Him, and what that looks like – really looks like. It requires a heart change – a permanent shift towards Him and His likeness. A Higher Calling… we are called to Something more.
We fall down, we lay our crowns at the feet of Jesus.
The greatness of His mercy and love, at the feet of Jesus.
And we cry Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lamb.
I’ve sung that song many times over the years, but Sunday morning was different. He spoke to my heart about what that means now, and what that means THEN – before the Lord.
When I began this post, my thoughts were circling around crowns of pride, ambition, self will, independence, arrogance, self blindness…
Now, they circle more around crowns of wounds – wounds that we carry around with us and refuse to lay at His feet. Or not even refuse – maybe we don’t even realize they are there until He shows them to us. John Eldredge calls them arrows. Arrows or crowns… either way, we are called to pull them out or take them off – and LAY THEM DOWN at the feet of Jesus. I wonder what our lives would look like if we really did that consistently?
I fell down Friday night. I fell into a cycle of sin that I’ve been captive to for 20 years. Desperate for His truth to be fully displayed in my life, I dug deep for the courage to ask for help. After 3 days of tears, shame and His patient love and ministering, He sent me to my pastor. We talked about many things – too much to try to record here, but one thing my pastor showed me was in these words that the Apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 4:4-7, and He revealed them to me in a new light:
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
I had feared that my heart had grown numb, maybe even hard. He placed me in an emotional bubble to allow me time to heal after 30 years of fighting Him, but the length of time in said bubble was beginning to scare me. My pastor suggested that HE was guarding my heart. I believe him, and HIM. My pastor also suggested that I may be more wounded that I thought. I know that now to be true. Now that I know, I can allow Him to heal me, completely. I believe that Jesus Christ has the power to change any human life – even mine. “He is Light – there is no darkness in Him at all.” (for all you sticklers out there, I admit that may be slightly paraphrased, but you get the point)
That’s what He’s been waiting for. This particular crown has been taken off, the arrow has been pulled out, and I lay them down at His feet.
Praise the Lord. Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lamb.
10.21.2005
10.14.2005
10 years ago, today
October 14, 1995. One of the biggest mistakes of my life happened on that day, and, many years later, one of the biggest miracles in my life occurred during the fallout resulting from the decisions made that day.
I was married in a beautiful outdoor wedding on an almost-perfect October afternoon. I was late to my own wedding, which will not surprise my friends in the least. What's really funny is that the wedding was held in one of the gardens on a university-owned property. Weddings are not allowed there - I may be the only person ever married there... perhaps it should stay that way... Anyway, there was a bus load of French tourists touring the grounds, and they got to the garden just as the wedding began. They thought we were filming a wedding for a western movie. They all had video cams and filmed my wedding! How random is that? There are at least 20 people in France that have my wedding in their personal video bibliothèque...
My favorite picture from the wedding is of my now ex-husband. He's standing by himself, looking for all the world like he's about to bolt. Man, do I wish he would have. Yeah, I've heard all the crap about, "you wouldn't be who and where you are today without your past happening that way..." I respectfully disagree. Here's why:
I am NOT defined by where I've been, what I've done or what I've been through. Shaped, perhaps, but not defined. I AM defined by who I'm becoming in Christ, day after day, walking with Him. As far as I'm concerned, my marriage was a 7+ year detour away from the Lord. Free will and all that good stuff... I could have chosen a much straighter path, letting Him guide my steps... but no.
We dated for 6 years and were married for 7. 13 years, plus the grief and recovery time that took several more years of my life - totally wasted. To say that I regret the marriage is a HUGE understatement. The only saving grace is that I know that my Lord does not waste a hurt. He does not allow our "adventures" away from Him to go to waste. He will use my life experience for His Kingdom's sake, to help heal, to help avoid, to help HIS light shine when people's worlds go completely black.
During the course of my marriage, I experienced many things, mostly bad. Verbal abuse, emotional manipulation, financial ruin, heritage lost, infertility (praise the Lord), legal trouble, humiliation, complete loss of my identity as Ann, much less who I was in Christ. In short - I settled.
Out of the bad, of course there was some Good. I used to sit with my mother-in-law for hours on end, talking about a God I didn't really know, talking about a Bible that I really didn't understand. I remember being very frustrated that I didn't know if what she was saying was Truth or not. Something in me cringed at some of the things she said - a still, small voice - a knowing - that some things were not Truth. Out of those conversations sparked my adult journey with the Lord. I needed to know, for myself, what this whole faith thing is all about. And, I needed to know what I truly believed as an adult.
I knew Jesus as a very small child. I used to sneak out of my bedroom at night, go into the living room, and sit with Him, gazing at the brightly lit Christmas tree, lost in conversation with Him. As I grew older, I did the typical teenage independent, don't need anybody thing. That was further reinforced when my dad disappeared. I am woman, hear me roar, and all that. Enter Todd, and the next 13-15 years are history.
Of course, the triumph of this story is that He can pull us out of the worst of circumstances. That He says, "No" for a reason. That He turns all things for good for those who love Him. He saved me from myself. "For those who seek to gain their lives will lose it." That, absolutely, without doubt, Jesus Christ has the power to change any human life. He didn't just change mine - I am made new. Completely new. Praise You, Jesus.
Over the past couple of years, I've wanted to tell Mary (his mom) what an impact she had on my spiritual life. I've resisted up to this point, not willing to open that whole can of vicious worms. Learning a lesson from Lot's wife, I've refused to go back. There is nothing for me there.
But now, once again, He has graciously given me my voice (albeit a cyber voice) to say what needs to be said. I know the chances of her ever reading this are nil, but that's OK. I'll see her in eternity one glorious day and she'll know. This is really for me, and I know it. Call it closure.
Mary, wherever you are, I love you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for playing your role in my life so well. He used you to help me find my way back to Him, and He is blessed, as I am blessed. I pray His best for you and yours, always.
I was married in a beautiful outdoor wedding on an almost-perfect October afternoon. I was late to my own wedding, which will not surprise my friends in the least. What's really funny is that the wedding was held in one of the gardens on a university-owned property. Weddings are not allowed there - I may be the only person ever married there... perhaps it should stay that way... Anyway, there was a bus load of French tourists touring the grounds, and they got to the garden just as the wedding began. They thought we were filming a wedding for a western movie. They all had video cams and filmed my wedding! How random is that? There are at least 20 people in France that have my wedding in their personal video bibliothèque...
My favorite picture from the wedding is of my now ex-husband. He's standing by himself, looking for all the world like he's about to bolt. Man, do I wish he would have. Yeah, I've heard all the crap about, "you wouldn't be who and where you are today without your past happening that way..." I respectfully disagree. Here's why:
I am NOT defined by where I've been, what I've done or what I've been through. Shaped, perhaps, but not defined. I AM defined by who I'm becoming in Christ, day after day, walking with Him. As far as I'm concerned, my marriage was a 7+ year detour away from the Lord. Free will and all that good stuff... I could have chosen a much straighter path, letting Him guide my steps... but no.
We dated for 6 years and were married for 7. 13 years, plus the grief and recovery time that took several more years of my life - totally wasted. To say that I regret the marriage is a HUGE understatement. The only saving grace is that I know that my Lord does not waste a hurt. He does not allow our "adventures" away from Him to go to waste. He will use my life experience for His Kingdom's sake, to help heal, to help avoid, to help HIS light shine when people's worlds go completely black.
During the course of my marriage, I experienced many things, mostly bad. Verbal abuse, emotional manipulation, financial ruin, heritage lost, infertility (praise the Lord), legal trouble, humiliation, complete loss of my identity as Ann, much less who I was in Christ. In short - I settled.
Out of the bad, of course there was some Good. I used to sit with my mother-in-law for hours on end, talking about a God I didn't really know, talking about a Bible that I really didn't understand. I remember being very frustrated that I didn't know if what she was saying was Truth or not. Something in me cringed at some of the things she said - a still, small voice - a knowing - that some things were not Truth. Out of those conversations sparked my adult journey with the Lord. I needed to know, for myself, what this whole faith thing is all about. And, I needed to know what I truly believed as an adult.
I knew Jesus as a very small child. I used to sneak out of my bedroom at night, go into the living room, and sit with Him, gazing at the brightly lit Christmas tree, lost in conversation with Him. As I grew older, I did the typical teenage independent, don't need anybody thing. That was further reinforced when my dad disappeared. I am woman, hear me roar, and all that. Enter Todd, and the next 13-15 years are history.
Of course, the triumph of this story is that He can pull us out of the worst of circumstances. That He says, "No" for a reason. That He turns all things for good for those who love Him. He saved me from myself. "For those who seek to gain their lives will lose it." That, absolutely, without doubt, Jesus Christ has the power to change any human life. He didn't just change mine - I am made new. Completely new. Praise You, Jesus.
Over the past couple of years, I've wanted to tell Mary (his mom) what an impact she had on my spiritual life. I've resisted up to this point, not willing to open that whole can of vicious worms. Learning a lesson from Lot's wife, I've refused to go back. There is nothing for me there.
But now, once again, He has graciously given me my voice (albeit a cyber voice) to say what needs to be said. I know the chances of her ever reading this are nil, but that's OK. I'll see her in eternity one glorious day and she'll know. This is really for me, and I know it. Call it closure.
Mary, wherever you are, I love you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for playing your role in my life so well. He used you to help me find my way back to Him, and He is blessed, as I am blessed. I pray His best for you and yours, always.
10.11.2005
what's this about a mustard seed?
This has been a two-day effort, so I'm actually referring to Tuesday morning, just for the record... this day was spent shopping and traveling, so I don't want to waste your time - no cool God moments today... well, maybe except for the fact that I actually made it home... I was taking pictures for my book, Life at 80 (ish) mph, trying to capture the devastation of Katrina in east Louisiana and Mississippi along I-10 while driving, well, 80-ish mph... yay cruise control and lightening-fast reflexes! On to the the real story...
I was on the beach this morning - 5 am on the dot. The moon had already set, and I was 20 miles west of Gulf Shores, near Fort Morgan. Nothing out there but me and the stars. I haven't seen that many stars in years. It was reminiscent of my childhood vacations to the Florida keys... but that's a different story for another day.
I am really struggling for words to describe this morning. I think I'm still processing. The sun rose (gloriously, I might add) a little after 6, so for the first hour or so, I soaked up the stars. The heavens are a sight to behold. It's such a shame that we don't or can't see them every morning. He flung them out there for us, as reminders of Him and His creativity, His love, His heart for us, and we miss His love notes all the time. I wonder how He feels - has felt over the ages - as we go along with our lives, not noticing the intricate detail He went to for us?
When I finally gave up and accepted the fact that He was not going to give me a cliff-notes version on astronomy 101, I began to pray. To say I was struggling is an under-statement. I had a very real sense that the situations I was praying for were at a point where MY faith had to sustain us, because the people who were so desperate for prayer were at the breaking point. How scary is that? What does that say about intercession? Him through me, Him through me, Him through me.
He showed me that I had to let some things go - so I released some very old wounds to Him. My father, my ex - both of which played pretty big roles in shaping my life. Praise the Lord. Two more arrows dislodged and wounds bleeding, bathed in His blood. Waves crashing and not another soul around, I could not help but sing to Him:
OK, here's a question for you guys - I know you're reading, but not many are commenting. Which is OK, but I'd really like some feedback on this one.
What does it mean when you're praying for physical healing, and in the midst of your prayer, your hand is raised in accord with the mental image of His hand on Bart's body, and the hand attached to my body gets hot? Not glowing red or anything, but definitely heated way up?
If anyone makes any Binny Hinn jokes, remember I know where you live.
I was on the beach this morning - 5 am on the dot. The moon had already set, and I was 20 miles west of Gulf Shores, near Fort Morgan. Nothing out there but me and the stars. I haven't seen that many stars in years. It was reminiscent of my childhood vacations to the Florida keys... but that's a different story for another day.
I am really struggling for words to describe this morning. I think I'm still processing. The sun rose (gloriously, I might add) a little after 6, so for the first hour or so, I soaked up the stars. The heavens are a sight to behold. It's such a shame that we don't or can't see them every morning. He flung them out there for us, as reminders of Him and His creativity, His love, His heart for us, and we miss His love notes all the time. I wonder how He feels - has felt over the ages - as we go along with our lives, not noticing the intricate detail He went to for us?
When I finally gave up and accepted the fact that He was not going to give me a cliff-notes version on astronomy 101, I began to pray. To say I was struggling is an under-statement. I had a very real sense that the situations I was praying for were at a point where MY faith had to sustain us, because the people who were so desperate for prayer were at the breaking point. How scary is that? What does that say about intercession? Him through me, Him through me, Him through me.
He showed me that I had to let some things go - so I released some very old wounds to Him. My father, my ex - both of which played pretty big roles in shaping my life. Praise the Lord. Two more arrows dislodged and wounds bleeding, bathed in His blood. Waves crashing and not another soul around, I could not help but sing to Him:
Open up the skies of mercy,
Rain down Your cleansing flood.
Healing waters, rise around us.
Hear our cries, Lord, let them rise.
It's Your kindness, Lord,
that leads us to repentance.
Your favor, Lord, is our desire.
Your beauty, Lord,
makes us stand in silence.
Your love, Your love
is better than life.
OK, here's a question for you guys - I know you're reading, but not many are commenting. Which is OK, but I'd really like some feedback on this one.
What does it mean when you're praying for physical healing, and in the midst of your prayer, your hand is raised in accord with the mental image of His hand on Bart's body, and the hand attached to my body gets hot? Not glowing red or anything, but definitely heated way up?
If anyone makes any Binny Hinn jokes, remember I know where you live.
10.10.2005
um, could You lower the veil, please?
Today was way different. I didn't stick to the plan - which is fine, but man, did He slam me...
One of my constant prayers is for clarity - for Him to lift the veil, just a little. Well, He took me seriously today, and I have been positively overwhelmed at our absolute NEED for Him. We need so much! We have so many prayers! We desire so many answers! We need to TRUST HIM. He's constantly asking me, "Do you trust Me?" That's a topic for another time.
What's on my heart tonight is our desperate need for God. And I don't have many words. As I unwrap this gift of intercession, He shows me something, allows me to process it, then shows me something else. Today, all day, He has allowed prayer after prayer after prayer to come on my heart. Prayers from friends, from strangers, from everywhere, and I am thrown for a loop. Apparently His definition of clarity and mine are completely different... He is showing me the magnitude, seriousness and responsibility of this gift. And, quite frankly, it scares the crap out of me. I hear Him asking me, "Ann. Do you trust ME?"
Lord, please, may my answer ALWAYS be a bold and resounding YES, even as my flesh and my mind cringe. Lord, may it be so.
One of my constant prayers is for clarity - for Him to lift the veil, just a little. Well, He took me seriously today, and I have been positively overwhelmed at our absolute NEED for Him. We need so much! We have so many prayers! We desire so many answers! We need to TRUST HIM. He's constantly asking me, "Do you trust Me?" That's a topic for another time.
What's on my heart tonight is our desperate need for God. And I don't have many words. As I unwrap this gift of intercession, He shows me something, allows me to process it, then shows me something else. Today, all day, He has allowed prayer after prayer after prayer to come on my heart. Prayers from friends, from strangers, from everywhere, and I am thrown for a loop. Apparently His definition of clarity and mine are completely different... He is showing me the magnitude, seriousness and responsibility of this gift. And, quite frankly, it scares the crap out of me. I hear Him asking me, "Ann. Do you trust ME?"
Lord, please, may my answer ALWAYS be a bold and resounding YES, even as my flesh and my mind cringe. Lord, may it be so.
10.09.2005
twilight prayer
I'm in Alabama this morning, taking a much-needed vacation. Becky and I agreed to pray together across the miles while I'm away. My intention was to be at the beach at 5, but apparently He had other plans.
I went to sleep last night, trusting Him to wake me up. And He did, of course. I can't say that it was at 5, but it was early. I was so burdened to pray for my roommate. She is interviewing for a job and is very nervous, overwhelmed and feels totally inadequate. I prayed HARD for Him to reveal her heart to the people involved in the interview process. I prayed for her to see her worth, ability and value in Him, through Him, and given to her by Him. I wonder if she felt the supplication going to Him on her behalf?
Sometimes it's really hard to know what to do with what He shows me, or places on my heart. Should I get up and pray with her? If I don't, am I withholding from her, and Him? So began my twilight prayer. In the stillness of early morning, I lay in bed, praying with fervor for His will to be done, for the enemy to not hold sway on her thoughts, for the interviewers to see Him brightly and clearly in and through her, despite her fears. I prayed many things in that quiet place, intimate things that will not be recorded here.
The really cool thing about God is that He is no more restricted by religion and manmade rituals or practices than the man in the moon. He does not need me on my knees, or even on my face, physically speaking, to know the sincerity of my prayers, to hear my hearts cry. I believe these positions of humility are much more for us than for Him. They indicate an outward sign of an inward humility, reverence and supplication - and worship. I love that I can lie in bed and have the same conversation and have Him listen just as intently as when I'm literally on my face. He loves that I know that I am not bound to ritualistic prostrations (is that a word?) to know that He is listening intently. Not just listening; He is responding, allowing me to intercede, to converse with the God of the universe - the Most High God - Jesus, the Son of God. This transcendent, eminent, intimate God was with me, in me and through me. Imagine that.
Imagine that He is the Lover of our souls. Imagine that He is relentlessly pursuing us, desiring to engage our hearts, to restore them, to be the One we turn to in the twilight hours. Imagine it, and then believe it. Absorb it. Process it. Revel in Him and His glorious, passionate love for us.
I went to sleep last night, trusting Him to wake me up. And He did, of course. I can't say that it was at 5, but it was early. I was so burdened to pray for my roommate. She is interviewing for a job and is very nervous, overwhelmed and feels totally inadequate. I prayed HARD for Him to reveal her heart to the people involved in the interview process. I prayed for her to see her worth, ability and value in Him, through Him, and given to her by Him. I wonder if she felt the supplication going to Him on her behalf?
Sometimes it's really hard to know what to do with what He shows me, or places on my heart. Should I get up and pray with her? If I don't, am I withholding from her, and Him? So began my twilight prayer. In the stillness of early morning, I lay in bed, praying with fervor for His will to be done, for the enemy to not hold sway on her thoughts, for the interviewers to see Him brightly and clearly in and through her, despite her fears. I prayed many things in that quiet place, intimate things that will not be recorded here.
The really cool thing about God is that He is no more restricted by religion and manmade rituals or practices than the man in the moon. He does not need me on my knees, or even on my face, physically speaking, to know the sincerity of my prayers, to hear my hearts cry. I believe these positions of humility are much more for us than for Him. They indicate an outward sign of an inward humility, reverence and supplication - and worship. I love that I can lie in bed and have the same conversation and have Him listen just as intently as when I'm literally on my face. He loves that I know that I am not bound to ritualistic prostrations (is that a word?) to know that He is listening intently. Not just listening; He is responding, allowing me to intercede, to converse with the God of the universe - the Most High God - Jesus, the Son of God. This transcendent, eminent, intimate God was with me, in me and through me. Imagine that.
Imagine that He is the Lover of our souls. Imagine that He is relentlessly pursuing us, desiring to engage our hearts, to restore them, to be the One we turn to in the twilight hours. Imagine it, and then believe it. Absorb it. Process it. Revel in Him and His glorious, passionate love for us.
10.08.2005
and on the third day...
Ok, so I know that's the obvious title, but I couldn't resist.
4:58 am. Really. Absolutely amazing. What's even more amazing is that I rolled out of bed at 4:46 and still made it to church for 4:58... I might have been speeding just a little bit...
This morning was all about freedom. Freedom to come before the Lord and to come together with absolute authenticity. If you know me at all, authenticity is one of my buzz words. Transparency is another - I believe they go hand-in-hand.
How awesome is it to be able to come together as sisters and friends, with no rules, no schedule, no... religion. Just a shared desire to learn more about the Lord, to grow more like Him, and a burden to pray for our churches. I am so blessed by Him. I find myself very grateful for the women He has placed in my life and for the roles they are so eager to play - friend, sister, mentor, discipler, accountability partner, encourager... the list goes on and on, and I am positively surrounded by women like this - of many ages and seasons of life. I guess He doesn't trust me on my own just yet... and praise Him for it.
I've never been very girly - tomboy is a better description. Don't get me wrong - I am a woman of many passions. I love romance, clothes (thanks to Mich), candlelight, great food - and Braveheart... I think this is an area that has been so deficient in my life for so long that I'm making up for lost time. That seems to be the running theme in my Christian walk.
I always seem to be sprinting towards Him, making up for lost time. And there is so much more to learn! So much more to see! So many more lives to touch! So much more of HIM! That, to me, is the coolest thing about Christianity - the journey never ends until you are looking Him in the face - and then you begin the real one. The forever one. With Him. As it was meant to be.
I absolutely cannot wait. In the meantime, I am enjoying the ride immensely. It is my heart's desire that you are on that journey with me. Do you know my Jesus?
4:58 am. Really. Absolutely amazing. What's even more amazing is that I rolled out of bed at 4:46 and still made it to church for 4:58... I might have been speeding just a little bit...
This morning was all about freedom. Freedom to come before the Lord and to come together with absolute authenticity. If you know me at all, authenticity is one of my buzz words. Transparency is another - I believe they go hand-in-hand.
How awesome is it to be able to come together as sisters and friends, with no rules, no schedule, no... religion. Just a shared desire to learn more about the Lord, to grow more like Him, and a burden to pray for our churches. I am so blessed by Him. I find myself very grateful for the women He has placed in my life and for the roles they are so eager to play - friend, sister, mentor, discipler, accountability partner, encourager... the list goes on and on, and I am positively surrounded by women like this - of many ages and seasons of life. I guess He doesn't trust me on my own just yet... and praise Him for it.
I've never been very girly - tomboy is a better description. Don't get me wrong - I am a woman of many passions. I love romance, clothes (thanks to Mich), candlelight, great food - and Braveheart... I think this is an area that has been so deficient in my life for so long that I'm making up for lost time. That seems to be the running theme in my Christian walk.
I always seem to be sprinting towards Him, making up for lost time. And there is so much more to learn! So much more to see! So many more lives to touch! So much more of HIM! That, to me, is the coolest thing about Christianity - the journey never ends until you are looking Him in the face - and then you begin the real one. The forever one. With Him. As it was meant to be.
I absolutely cannot wait. In the meantime, I am enjoying the ride immensely. It is my heart's desire that you are on that journey with me. Do you know my Jesus?
10.07.2005
the second day
4:58 - again. Amazing...no, really. For me to be on time for anything is atypical - for me to be early 2 days in a row is amazing. Prayer this morning was more worship than prayer, which was awesome.
Becky brought 3 tea lights, representing the Trinity. In the darkness, in the stillness of early morning, He surrounded us with His presence that was...real. What's the word? Transcendence. Wow.
Forgiveness and division. That's what He brought to us this morning to converse with Him about. As we stood trembling in the gap, we could not help but to fall at His feet in worship. Singing, without any musical accompaniment, can be an awkward thing. But driven by the intensity of His presence, we could respond no other way.
Becky brought 3 tea lights, representing the Trinity. In the darkness, in the stillness of early morning, He surrounded us with His presence that was...real. What's the word? Transcendence. Wow.
Forgiveness and division. That's what He brought to us this morning to converse with Him about. As we stood trembling in the gap, we could not help but to fall at His feet in worship. Singing, without any musical accompaniment, can be an awkward thing. But driven by the intensity of His presence, we could respond no other way.
Only You have come to find me,
Only You have come to pull me out.
Only You have come to save me,
Only You have come to wrap Your arms around me.
And no one has ever loved me
like the way You love me.
Wrap Your arms around me.
Praise You, Jesus.
10.06.2005
careful what you pray for...
Lately, I've been praying for more time - more hours in a day. Well... funny how He takes me at my word... and it's very obvious to me that He has a sense of humor. A friend of mine was sent northward by her husband to get out of Rita's way, and on her way home, she had one of those "God moments" that I so long for. She travelled with Him all the way home - which is evidenced by the fact that she actually made it home at all - she was writing and praying, which means He was driving... but that's not the point.
He told her to pray - with me - at 5:00 in the morning (yes, 5:00 am) at the church, for the Body of Christ. Pretty specific stuff. Now, you need to realize that I covet sleep. In my opinion, I don't get nearly enough sleep. He obviously thinks otherwise. As I whined and moaned my way to obedience, He showed me Isaiah 62:6-7:
He told her to pray - with me - at 5:00 in the morning (yes, 5:00 am) at the church, for the Body of Christ. Pretty specific stuff. Now, you need to realize that I covet sleep. In my opinion, I don't get nearly enough sleep. He obviously thinks otherwise. As I whined and moaned my way to obedience, He showed me Isaiah 62:6-7:
I have posted watchmen on your walls, O Jerusalem;
they will never be silent day or night.
You who call on the LORD,
give yourselves no rest,
and give Him no rest
till he establishes Jerusalem and makes her
the praise of the earth.
We met for the first time this morning. I arrived - by the grace of God - at 4:58 am. Oh, that we would always be so obedient, for the rewards are so great! What a sweet, sweet, passionate, powerful, trembling, awesome, magnificent, glorious time with the Lord! He is doing something new - something awesome - and it is my privilege to be a part of it, deemed worthy to serve Him in this way.
To help you understand the Scripture reference, I guess I should explain my role in the Body of Christ. I am an intercessor (...you who call on the LORD...) for the Body of Christ. What does that mean, you might ask? Don't have a clue. Really.
I'm learning as I go, and it's going to be an awesome adventure. My favorite description of our God is "dangerous, wild, unfettered, and free" (my apologies to the author - I don't know who you are, but your words circle in my mind). The Christian life is not meant to be easy, it's not meant to be mundane and ordinary - safe. We are set apart, a holy nation, led and loved by Ha-Shem, Yahweh, the LORD of all creation.
Hang on. It's going to be quite a ride, and I could not be more awed or excited.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)