focus

i really dislike this time of year. gasp. ok, so i love Christmas eve, but the season as a whole... not so much.

i realize that, as a follower of Christ, that's pretty close to blasphemy. i know we are supposed to be rejoicing in the birth of Jesus, the fulfillment of God's promise, the humble beginning for the King of kings. i get it. i really do.

it's just that we do that all year - as followers of Christ, we try to imitate His life, we depend on His love, His provision, His sovereignty, His grace - we try to follow His lead as a way of life. it is our life. He is our life. we celebrate that every day. i don't need a calendar to tell me when to do that. i feel this way about thanksgiving, too. i am thankful, everyday. maybe not every second of every day, but i am thankful to God at some point every day of my life.

when you take Christmas out of the holiday season equation, all you're left with is family tension, major stress, unrealistic expectations of familial happiness, and the imaginary money tree in the back yard... it's quite nauseating, actually. with a lot of time on my hands these days, i watch entirely too much tv (i am a csi FREAK). watching the commercials, it seems as though, in stark contrast from previous years, there is much more use of the word "Christmas" than "holiday" this year. that, in some sick way, makes it even worse. the commercialization of such a holy day is disgusting to me...

i was thinking about this earlier when a new thought struck me. i had flipped over to the national geographic channel to watch the dog whisperer. i have discovered, much to my dismay, that that channel is openly atheistic. i realize that it's a science channel, but they take it to a whole new level... anyway, back to the thought. they were advertising a new program that starts on december 25th. december 25th. not Christmas. that may be the first time in my life when that day was referred to as just december 25th. it made me think about the non-Christians in our society, and how this time of year makes them feel. in being honest, i'm pretty sure that i would be disgruntled if the other world religions were shoved down my throat every year for 8 weeks. crap, even as a Christian, i am disgruntled that "Christianity" is shoved down my throat every year for 8 weeks.

i think that's why the card i got in the mail made my heart beat faster (the one i quoted in "invasion") and brought so much joy to my soul. it brought everything back into sharp focus. it reminded me of the larger Story going on here. the birth of Christ was a brilliant strategic move in the ancient and on-going battle of good and evil. it reminded me of the warrior God who loves me so much - loves you so much - that He deigned to leave perfection to become imperfect just to win us back by proving once for all His heart for us.

why do we, as Christians, feel like we have something to prove - some kind of an agenda? why do our chests puff out a little more this time of year? hello? yes, we are to bring His light into the darkness... but we do that by LOVE. love is an all-the-time, day-after-day thing. it's not seasonal.