day 12 - community

My community group is amazing. Out of all of the groups, I believe that we are the most random group of people ever, and it’s really cool. In typical God fashion, this night we discussed prayer, specifically:

• Why don’t we approach His throne of grace with confidence?


• Why are we afraid to ask Him for the big things?


• Why are we afraid to ask Him for specifics (that wasn’t one that was thrown out there, just one circling in my mind)


• What do we do during the wait?


• What do we do when he says, “No.”?


• Do we really believe that He is good?


• My question – what do we do when we don’t hear a thing?

Of course, on the night we discuss prayer, guess who has nothing to say? That would be yours truly. The self-proclaimed warrior of God. The intercessor. The one who always urges and pushes for prayer… yep, I had nada. I listened for once, mainly because I feel so defeated and jaded right now, battling with this whole moving thing. I didn’t want my twisted thoughts to plant any cynical seeds in the others. It was great, because He ministered to me through what our leaders, Bryan and Misty, had to say. Admittedly, I had to fight a lot of self-defense mechanisms trying to kick into place, but He was able to get past me (imagine that…) and speak to my heart and my bruised spirit through them. I praised His name last night for my community, and I will do it again tonight. Hallelujah to the King!

After cg tonight, my friend Ashley came up to me and asked if she could tell me a story. (I asked her if I could put this on my blog, even though it’s her story to tell…) She said that the Lord has brought to mind this story for the past few days and she finally figured out why tonight – she was supposed to tell me. How cool is that? I won’t get all the details straight, but the gist will be accurate.

She went through a season when she was not hearing from the Lord, same as I am now. She knew she was called to missions, but He had not given her any specifics yet. That summer, she was serving in Honduras, and was attending church one night. The relevant side note here is that she is deathly afraid of the dark, and this was a night service. Well, a thunderstorm blew through and the lights went out. She was in the middle of a foreign country with her biggest fear thrown in her face. She kept searching for her flashlight that she knew was not there, and the Lord stopped her. He told her that she didn’t need the crutch of the light. As she grew calmer, she heard the voices of the children inside the church, singing louder and louder to Him. She said that she learned that in times of His silence, she just sings that much louder.

That is a beautiful picture of faith and perseverance – and love. He loved her through her fear, and she loved Him through hers. That wraps so beautifully with the post from last night, because all I know to do now is to stand – to sing His praises no matter what.

Of course, this wraps beautifully to the Scripture for today – Luke 5:17-26 - 17One day as he was teaching, Pharisees and teachers of the law, who had come from every village of Galilee and from Judea and Jerusalem, were sitting there. And the power of the Lord was present for him to heal the sick. 18Some men came carrying a paralytic on a mat and tried to take him into the house to lay him before Jesus. 19When they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus. 20When Jesus saw their faith, he said, "Friend, your sins are forgiven." 21The Pharisees and the teachers of the law began thinking to themselves, "Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone?" 22Jesus knew what they were thinking and asked, "Why are you thinking these things in your hearts? 23Which is easier: to say, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Get up and walk'? 24But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins...." He said to the paralyzed man, "I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home." 25Immediately he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God. 26Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God. They were filled with awe and said, "We have seen remarkable things today."

Josh points out in the 30 days that one of two things had to take place for the end result to occur – the paralytic’s friends had to offer to help him, or he had to ask for it. I would not let my community minister to me until the very end – who says the oldest is the wisest? But minister they did, and another horrible day has ended with me refueled, restored, loved and encouraged – and ready to keep standing.

I will say it again – PRAISE YOU, JESUS!