seriously

sometimes i know more than the average bear.

sometimes that knowlegde is freakishly dead-on. as an example, i knew that on the way to mexico, we would have transportation problems - nothing serious, just that it would be a long, arduous journey. an 18-hour drive turned into a 24-hour drive with numerous flat tires and pit stops. i also knew that my mom would hurt her ankle while walking my dog while i was in mexico - and she did. she broke it the day we were driving home. lastly, i knew that i would not have a job when i got back, and i didn't. weird, huh?

well, i've had another round of weirdness. i knew that He would require me to make a hard decision regarding school, and that He would equip me to make that decision. i also knew that i would get a call the day after i resigned from school regarding the application i put in at regions. that opportunity fell in my lap a few weeks ago, and i knew at that time that i would be contacted by them. i'm not clear on how far this is going to go, although my gut feeling is that i'm going to be offered the job. i'm really just praying for open and shut doors that guide me to Him.

what i don't know is what to do with this. i don't ever claim to be completely right in my understanding of what the Lord wants from me. i get as close as i can, and then trust Him to keep me straight.

this seems, at this moment, to be a test. He has restarted my heartbeat for my girls - for being available and desirous of becoming deeply involved in their lives again. that has played out yesterday and all morning long, with emails and im popping everywhere. at the same time, i have a desire to go to a Christian grad school (maybe seminary?) to pursue an education in Christian counseling.

before you laugh your head off, i admit i am not the girl to go to when someone wants sympathy or when someone just needs to mourn. i'm more of the girl you would go to when you are ready to go to battle to let the Lord heal you. i'm told i have an eerie ability to cut straight through to the heart of the matter. please do not read here that i think any of this is me - i readily acknowledge that the Lord has allowed craziness in my life - throughout my life - and has provided a way for healing as well, so that i may be used by Him for His kids.

so how does managing a bank near the lsu campus and Christian counseling come together? maybe they don't. maybe that's the test. maybe it's His provision while i'm in school next semester. maybe He wants me to choose. or maybe He just wants to bless me. who knows?

the only thing that i'm sure of is that He has told me plainly that He wants me praying incessantly... come to think of it, He's been telling me that since january. hmmm... and, He's making sure that things keep coming up that require me to stay at His feet, and that requires me to purposefully bring myself and my life under His full authority and lordship EVERYDAY.

it might just be me, but i'm getting the impression that He is serious...