note to self - my life is not about me. if i EVER get that to sink in... sheesh.
the reason i was in a funk all weekend was made apparent as soon as josh told us at 5:45 prayer what he was going to be speaking about tonight. he does this to help guide our prayers as we prepare the room for His presence and His kids. it was like a lightbulb going off - instant knowledge that made me want to slap my forehead and say, "DUH!" my funk was less about me and more about what josh spoke about tonight. sin and temptation, that we are at war, that we are to fight for one another, and to allow Him to fight for us.
i am spiritually off the charts right now, though sadly enough, i forget that on a pretty regular basis. i need to write on my mirror, "IS THIS ABOUT YOU?" more often than not, it has very little to do with me and everything to do with those i intercede for. even possessing this knowledge, i tend to turn the lens inward and apply what i battle to my own circumstances, instead of 1) trusting Him with my situation, and 2) asking Him to show me what a particular funk is about.
tonight was fantastic. yes, i realize that it's no surprise to you that i am pumped anytime i learn more about prayer, about the battle, about how to pray for one another... but i am even more pumped that our Body learned more about these things. as an intercessor, i'm wired differently. i go to battle on a regular basis. i see demons, i have visions - "freaky" stuff that is scary to most people. to have this Body more equipped to fight for one another is... beautiful. to see hearts ready and willing to fight for one another is even more beautiful. as i stood in the back of the room, praying with and for this Body, the Lord solidified in my heart the reality of my role at the ring. (yes, i knew it all along, but to have Him hammer me over the head and straight into my heart is quite different...) i was shaking and crying - overcome with love for Him, for this Body, for this church - our church - HIS church... which brings up huge questions about seattle, but i am taking those thoughts captive this night. that's for another day.
another thing that was so very cool about tonight was that there was the "old-school ring" feel to it. there was a joy, a freedom in worship, a tight unity within the Body that we have been praying for since the beginning. don't get me wrong - we still have these elements every sunday night - but tonight was different somehow. tonight was about us living out acts 2:42 as a unified Body. as a new church, with new people coming in the doors, it can't be helped that there is some loss of identity for a time... it seemed to me, at least, that this Body is unified once more. we have our identity back - changed, but intact. the newer members of our community experienced the heart of the ring - the heart that i fell in love with over 3 years ago. our heartbeat is for Him, and everything about tonight screamed that Truth. it was fantastic - HE is fantastic.
the weekend before we launched as a "real" church, we came together corporately to pray the ring community church into existence. although there is much more detail in day 2 - pivotal, what screams at me are these words:
Afterwards, Josh pointed out the importance of this night – it is a pivotal point in the life of this church. We were allowed to be part of the group that will say, “Hey, remember when we prayed for that the Friday before launch?”
2 comments:
Okay, so I feel like your post here was my own "IS THIS ABOUT YOU?" scrawled across my mirror. Whoa. I'm battling whether or not to go to battle, if that makes sense, and just this morning in praying through it I realized just a bit more that it's not about me, but about intercession for these other fellas. The important thing is that they are covered and bathed in prayer. So your weekend funk was warfare because you were battling for others? It's such a powerful gift you have been given, and the Enemy would do anything, of course, to steal it. Since he can't (the gifts of God are irrevocable, right?), he will draw you away from employing them -- letting down your guard, dropping your sword, wearing you out. Is this what the weekend was for you?
yes, exactly... and i understand the battle to go to battle all too well.
the funk this weekend was more about reminding me of all the sin and temptation that tries to entice me away, but it's because the sermon was on sin and temptation... my fight was specific to the message to be delivered. it makes perfect sense that i am faced with the very thing the Body is being equipped to fight, simply because it's my job to intercede for them. the funk brought me to a spiritual awareness of what and how i was to fight. make sense?
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