bow

in ephesians 3:14, the original greek word for "kneel" is more correctly transliterated "i bow in my need for you". i love the beauty and simplicity - the humility - of that declaration. it reminds me of the scene in braveheart at murron's funeral, where wallace is on his knees before her father, in total surrender and submission.

in him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. i ask you, therefore, not to be discouraged because of my sufferings for you, which are your glory. for this reason, i bow in my need before the Father... -- ephesians 3:12-14 (italics mine)

as i was walking along, talking to God, i crossed a small bridge, and came upon this bent aspen. (i began this story in much) i was struck by it's beauty, but did not begin to understand the full significance of what He was showing me until i was home, and visiting a friend. i was showing her the pictures from the retreat, and when we came across this one, she immediately commented that it is a beautiful example of all of creation bowing before God, undone by His majesty and splendor.

my world is changing.

fall always makes me restless and edgy. so much more so this year as this season of preparation and waiting comes to an end.

i am pensive tonight. i am beginning to get a glimpse of the Light and the darkness that await me in seattle... and i'm not sure how i feel. i recently wrote a friend that i need my heart to be steady and true as i step into this new season.

i'm beginning to understand that's not possible. i'm beginning to understand that much more brokenness is coming. this coming season is about becoming raw and ripped open - exposed.

i'm beginning to understand that i've just scratched the surface of healing, of intimacy with God, of knowing Him and being known.

i'm beginning to understand that life as i know it does not exist anymore. i'm somewhere in-between.

i'm beginning to understand that when i leave this place, i will not return the same - nor will you be the same if i see you again.

i'm beginning to understand why He has me in such a posture of humility.

i am beginning to understand.