objectified

i woke up this morning in a bit of a snit.

i'm not sure why - typically, i'm the quiet sort in the early hours (anything before noon qualifies as "early" - yay unemployment!) - it's a throw-back to my married days, when any word spoken around my ex was said at my own risk. growing up, casting off the bowline before 5 was not unusual, so this leave-me-alone-before-the-first-cup-of-coffee is learned behavior, and one that i suppose i should correct.

back to the snit... although this pleasant trip down memory lane has done wonders for my snittiness...

someone please tell me when it became ok to view people as objects? men - since when is it ok to look at a woman and see her as a sex object? women - this is an equal opportunity snit - since when is it ok to look at a man and see him as a sex object?

although this post is going to explore part of the "women as sex objects" theme, i'm not letting women off the hook - not by a long shot. anything written here applies to us, as well. but admitting that is going against my snit, and it is my snit and my blog, so...

ok class - can someone tell me what God created last? or rather, who? that would be eve. and let me just tell you - she was not an afterthought, an "oh, dang, I'd better make a help meet [gag] for adam." she was the crowning glory of creation. His final extravagant finishing touch. His pièce de résistance. (add french accent here)

in case you have any doubts as to the veracity of my answer, see genesis 1-3 (and further explored in captivating). i mean, really read it. get into the story, feel the emotion, the wonder, the excitement in heaven as all the angels SHOUTED for joy. in case familiarity has lessened the impact of the story for you, remember that this is not just a story - it's how we came into being. it is our story. it cannot possibly be more personal than that.

yes, i know - sin entered the picture and it's been hell ever since. but that does not, i repeat DOES NOT, excuse the behavior and thought-attitude that still exists today - especially within the church. there are few things more sickening than seeing lust lurking around the men - and women - of the church... but not because it's "dirty" or "perverted" or whatever. it sickens me because it is a symptom of a much more deeply rooted problem. yes, we have desires to be loved, to be held, to experience the intimacy that God created for a couple to thoroughly enjoy together. however, to let those desires dictate our behavior, our thoughts, our choice of a mate... if i had to guess which sin God hates the most (yes, i know - sin is sin - just go with me here) i would say that lust is definitely in the top 5. i say this because it is so damaging, not only for the one wrapped up in it, but for the object of someone's lust, as well.

desire, physical attraction, intimacy - these longings were created by God. gasp. these are good things when considered in the context of Christ-centered relationship. but they are so easily twisted into ugly, hurtful things when the desire for them exceeds our desire for intimacy with Jesus. no, don't check out yet - stay here with me for a minute.

although there are several horrible results that we could consider, let's just look at the one that is prevalent in the church. when someone is wrapped up in lust, the end result can easily be a poor choice in a mate. let me just tell you, from experience i might add, that physical attraction does not a marriage make. it helps, to be sure. this observation is valid for both genders - lust begets manipulation - in the form of seduction, inappropriate pursuit, and obsession.

it seems to me that a life-long commitment damn well better be centered on something other than physical attraction. for us single folk, that's what we want, right? to be part of something larger than ourselves (you married folk have already figured this out) and that something has to be rooted and established in love - in Christ's love - and that cannot include lust.

lust is a twisted version of true desire, true attraction - lust objectifies someone into something.

admittedly, i am no expert on what a Christ-centered relationship should look like. thankfully, we have several married couples within our community that are great examples of covenant relationship, and they do us the huge favor of not hiding their affection/attraction for one another - not flaunting it, but not hiding it, either. but i can say with confidence that while the success of their relationship may be enhanced by physical attraction, it is not the cement that keeps them committed when the shit hits the fan.

what happened to faith? what happened to trust? what happened to being comfortable in our own skin, able to be alone, but not lonely? what happened to waiting on the Lord, knowing His heart for us - that He is for us? although this started as a snit, it's not meant to bring on guilt or condemnation. it's meant to encourage us to open our eyes, to question our motives, to examine ourselves and our thoughts - and bring them to God. He is the only One who will ever truly satisfy us, even if/when we are married.

wrapping this back to the message from sunday about surrender - true surrender is stepping away from something and letting God handle it - it is His problem anyway, right? by all means, let's step away - consciously step away - from trying to manipulate our own thoughts or manipulate others. let's focus on deepening and strengthening our relationship with Christ. without that depth, we are toast. life continues to come at us, year after year, bringing joy, success, pain, death... if your life is not centered in Life, then you don't stand a chance.